how stupid i am ..

Guess what , yesterday i just knew that this girl that this blog was about got together with the current boyfriend on april 14th 2006 .. I seriously thought it was may 19th. 2006.shit i got screwed all the way.. the best part is she was telling me about her aint lying to me and all on my birthday.... its total bullshit.. So as a conclusion i could say that i was 25 days behind time.. So that means on my last years birthday celebration they were together already... fuck !!! i hate liars /... Its true what they said women just cant be trusted.. i am so screwed.

good try dear friend . please stop being stupid

There is this women who went straight to my friend and said that this was how zamir used to treat shivon ..ahhaha!!! funny ... people nowadays . Still hate me even tho i hardly see or even talk to her. Weird , coz at first i thought all she ever wanted was shivon to get out from my life for good . Now she is trying to influence my new friend .. hahhaa !!! what do you expect this type of women's mentality(referring to the girl who attempted to bitch about me) .I am yet to understand her reason for doing that.

Let me tell you what i think of this women's actions. I think she just wants to see me suffer. I also think that she wants to backstabbed me again. Good try dear friend !!! you might succeed once but not anymore. I can assure you that.

As you see stupid is define as lack of intelligence .To say this women is stupid might be a bad thing but one thing is for sure this women has lack of intelligence. My advice to her is keep on looking at the mirror coz what goes around comes around. Always remember that.

Whoever that read this and guess who is this women , i will award them with a lunch or dinner treat. I promise =) . I do know who just that at times i wish peole can guess and be aware of her bitchiness ..

god bless everyone =)

a sad gambling day

Today i gambled in midvalley with few of the workers. Honestly i am so sad and depressed . why ? Its because i lost rm 80 bugs when i was in the lead of rm 100 from the banker. Its my first and biggest defeat in my personal black jack gambling history . I am so so sad .. help me !!!

btw there is this girl that had always been cheering up my life this past few months. I am so so happy !!! I would like to say thank you to her for always being there for me when i am inneed of someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry at. The best part is i think she is hot =p

Another sad thing is that the fact arsenal lost yesterday away 1-0 to psv eidhoven. I really hope they win big at home. Come on arsenal !! dont let you fans down. I really hope robin van parsie will recover from his injury and team up with henry to keep arsenal's spirit up. Cesc fabregas and Thoman rosicky ; both of you are the arsenal current hero. Keep it up with you consistency . Alexeder Hleb ; keep up your good effort . Adebayor ; you are the worst striker in this season arsenal had ever had. Julio Baptista and William Gallas ; both of you need to get adjusted to the EPL kindda play ..


Go arsenal !!! let us move to victory . We can win big at home !!! have faith in king henry !! =)

It had been ages since the last time my last post

Honestly it had been several months since the last time i've ever posted anythng in this blog of mine.Today let me tell you why ?

There are 3 reasons why i didn't post anything in this lil blog of mine :

1st - This blog of mine is the journal of pain coz i record all the pain i went through with its specific date and time.

2nd - the password to this blog is linked to someone who has no meaning anymore in my life.

3rdly - Its just pain pain pain pain and pain again ...

Honestly today i can say that i am a different man .My perspectives about life , my needs , my goals had totally changed.I am so happy. Life had been going on the way i want it to be . Its just one thing different from the past , she ; the women i refer to in my previous posting is not in my life anymore. Its true what people used to say , in life at times you need to sacrificed things you want the most.

I am in the situation whereby i need to regain my confidence that i've lost all these years. I need to be who i was before and not who i am today.Several months i've been searching for the right method that i can implement to regain my confidence and others respect.I might not know if i am fully recovered from the breakdown i've went through but i could feel that their are some positive improvement towards recovery.

My propher once said that there is no point hating people who hates you or your enemies.In the matter of fact ,I would like to say thank you to her for making me a stronger man. Thanks to her for voicing out her special request to me by asking me to get out from her life for good. I would like to thank her friends for supporting her and asking her to get out from my life. I really hope the All Mighty will know how to bless you people either in todays world or in the afterlife.

Last but not least i would like to thank her for prooving all my perception about love and women rite. thanks for making me a new me. God bless you =)

i am so into this blog page whereby i dont have the heart to close it

It had been a while since the last time i ever wrote something in this blog of mine. 1stly , on the 16th November 2006 , my friendship with whoever the girl in this blog i've been talking about had come to an end. This time its for real.Why ? its because she said it herself. It was a request from her. Nothing i can do about it.She was telling me that i need to sacrifice my friendship for her happiness so thats what i did. Officially i dont give a fuck about her anymore since thats what she wants.

Its just sad when i get to know that the whole 'go fuck off and die zamir ' doesnt actually comes from her. It was a conclusion she made herself over people who claim to be my friends who had influence her towards this saying.Its shocking and traumatizing to know that her friends which consist of people i know of are people who are against me. But its okay . God is with me.Lesson i've learn through these experience is dont trust anyone.

It had been 3 weeks since this happens so i can say that i am over it and i am looking forward in celebrating the 1st month aniversary.I am currently having so much fun in my life.No more hartamas or breakers for me . No more foosball for me.I've achieve my target ; world selection rookie doubles champion , open doubles 6th place, rank 33 in the world rookie singles and rank 6th for world vifa doubles.Plus , foosball only brings back memories i am trying to get over it.

I can't wait for the upcoming college prom . I bet i am going to have fun . I just wish someone will come to me and find trouble , coz yeah i would like to see how the new me deals with assholes.I have nothing to loose. Cant wait for the after party either. Cant wait to get pissed drunk.=)

Another happy thing that happen to me is to know that farid and daniel had won the nationals foosball rookie doubles champion. Its good to know that farid is the back to back Malaysian rookie doubles champion partnering 2 diffrent partners. The first one was me back in may 2006 whereby the both of us won the world selection doubles and he did it again on disember 2006 partnering daniel.As a conclusion to this , he Muhamad Farid Yaacob is the best rookie forward in Malaysia. Go la farid !!

i am so happy !!! yesterday i went to see my all time beloved pet sister Alia Aishah . She had make my life happier all these years . I would like to personally thank her for that.Guess what , me ,my cute uncle and her group of friends went to watch this Malay movie entittled 'Cinta'. The movie was unbelievable too romantic.

I would also like to thank the women that had made a stand in my life. The women that keep making me smile and had filled my life with full of laughter.For the past few monts , we had gone through the ups and downs of both our life. She had filled my life with lots of sweetness that i could not imagine. Dear blog, i am so sorry i could not mention the women's name in my postings.She @ the gurl that her name could not be mention is the 'bomb'.

The new me

Honestly i would say that today i am a new person . Its like me getting reborn into this world . I am quite confused with my life . The women i used to love ; how must i treat her . Like a bitch or like normal times. My anger towards her current boyfriend is beyond the limit. I am scared it might burst one day.

Because of me not getting to win her heart for the past 2 years i've been trying to impress her , now i feel like as tho i am a looser. She had took my pride and dignity away but its okay . Sooner or later i will get it back . When i think back on what she had done to me on my birthday ; that is so traumatizing. I had never experienced more pain then that all my life. I feel as tho i am a stupid person supporting her to achieve her goal when what she does is just having fun .

I use to pray for her success in education like a lot but today i dont see the point of it . She aint worth my prayers . I really hope the All Mighty will open her mind and make her a smarter person . Not educationally smart but street smart .

I dont care about my feelings for her anymore but its just sad to see someone i used to care and loved is changing from a home girl to a sarung party girl , from a person who hardly goes clubbing to a hardcore clubber , from someone who use to be home by 2 am at most and now she i dont know wether she goes home or not .What i know at the 5 am she can still be outside. Honestly this is the biggest pain .

I would like to end this short posting of mine just to remind myself of what i am currently seing or listening about her . I must remind myself that the person who i use to think is an angel is not that good after all . Last but not least i would like to remind myself not to fall inlove or have a crush on women anymore .Thats it . Its just not worth it .

A song that makes me cry everytime i listen to it

Gallery - Mario Vasquez

God broke the mold,
When he made this one
I knowShe's breathtaking but so much more
She walks in the room,
your loves closed
Making you never want to breathe again
Her boyfriend has got so much dough
So much ice his neck and wrist frozeIs he faithful to her? Hell no
But she chose to be with him, shorty
Tell me is the money worth your soul
Tell me what's the reason that you hold on
When you know that dude has a whole wall of 'em just like you
And girl you're just way too fine
Gotta be treated as one of a kind
Girl use your mind
Don't be just another dime
Because I can't takeSeeing you with him'
Cuz I know exactly what you'll be,
In his gallery
It's just not fairAnd it's tearing me apart
You're just another priceless work of art
In his gallery
She's so confused
She knows she deserves more
Someone who will love and adore
But his money's hard to ignore
She really doesn't know what to do
Girl it's just a matter of time
Before he finds another more fine
After he's done dulling your shine
You're out the door and he's through with you
Tell me is the money worth your soul
Tell me what's the reason that you hold on,
When you know that dude has a whole wall of 'em just like you
And girl you're just way too fine
Gotta be treated as one of a kind
Girl use your mind
Don't be just another dime
I can't takeSeeing you with him
'Cuz I know exactly what you'll be
In his gallery
It's just not fairAnd it's tearing me apart
You're just another priceless work of artIn his gallery
You're a masterpieceI know that heCan't appreciate your beauty
Don't let him cheapen you
He don't see you like i do
Beautiful not just for show
Time that someone let you know
I can't takeSeeing you with him'
Cuz I know exactly what you'll be
In his gallery
It's just not fair
And it's tearing me apart
You're just another priceless work of art
I can't take
Seeing you with him'
Cuz I know exactly what you'll be
In his gallery
It's just not fair
And it's tearing me apart
You're just another priceless work of art
In his gallery
In his gallery

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

this song is so touching . I am tired of crying listening to this song . Been listening to this song over and over again . I hope my life will be happy one day .. Let Allah swt decides the journey of my life =)

Gallery - Mario Vasquez
God broke the mold,
When he made this one
I knowShe's breathtaking but so much more
She walks in the room,
your loves closed
Making you never want to breathe again
Her boyfriend has got so much dough
So much ice his neck and wrist frozeIs he faithful to her? Hell no
But she chose to be with him, shorty
Tell me is the money worth your soul
Tell me what's the reason that you hold on
When you know that dude has a whole wall of 'em just like you
And girl you're just way too fine
Gotta be treated as one of a kind
Girl use your mind
Don't be just another dime
Because I can't takeSeeing you with him'
Cuz I know exactly what you'll be,
In his gallery
It's just not fairAnd it's tearing me apart
You're just another priceless work of art
In his gallery
She's so confused
She knows she deserves more
Someone who will love and adore
But his money's hard to ignore
She really doesn't know what to do
Girl it's just a matter of time
Before he finds another more fine
After he's done dulling your shine
You're out the door and he's through with you
Tell me is the money worth your soul
Tell me what's the reason that you hold on,
When you know that dude has a whole wall of 'em just like you
And girl you're just way too fine
Gotta be treated as one of a kind
Girl use your mind
Don't be just another dime
I can't takeSeeing you with him
'Cuz I know exactly what you'll be
In his gallery
It's just not fairAnd it's tearing me apart
You're just another priceless work of artIn his gallery
You're a masterpieceI know that heCan't appreciate your beauty
Don't let him cheapen you
He don't see you like i do
Beautiful not just for show
Time that someone let you know
I can't takeSeeing you with him'
Cuz I know exactly what you'll be
In his gallery
It's just not fair
And it's tearing me apart
You're just another priceless work of art
I can't take
Seeing you with him'
Cuz I know exactly what you'll be
In his gallery
It's just not fair
And it's tearing me apart
You're just another priceless work of art
In his gallery
In his gallery

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

this song is so touching . I am tired of crying listening to this song . Been listening to this song over and over again . I hope my life will be happy one day .. Let Allah swt decides the journey of my life =)