The sadness i suffered from my good heartedness
I suffered from the worst depression and sadness last thursday . My heart suffered from traumatizing breakdown . I can say that the experienced i've been through due to the kindheartedness i've potrayed is unediable the worst experience i've ever had. To begin with , lets say its satars of with a very happy evening.
i brought the girl of my dream and a brother of mine to Chillis for dinner . Having the extra cash on that day had opened up my heart to spent it on the 2 most important people in my life.As we went there i was still in a very hyper happy mode. My brother ordered some meal with the workers pubic hair on it. God bless him. It was so funny whereby i laughed like crazy . There were 5 hairs his meal.As to some people imagining how the hairs can be in the food dish is sick but for me it was just funny. The girl of my dreams ordered some meal while i ordered montoray chicken ; the best dish in chillis.
My life begun to experienced fear when i saw them hugging . For them it may be some natural behaviour of close friendship but to me it was something else . The way they hugged was something beyond friendship.After that i saw them hold hands together . That was when my heart broke to pieces. I realize what love can leads me to ; suicide. I suffered from extreme pain due to the action of theirs of holding hands in front of me . I mean behind me , i seriously dont care but this traumatizing incident happened in front of me . Besides the brother asked me if i do feel jealous due to his action. I still put a smile on my face even though extreme sadness was hidden in my lonely heart.
In conclusion i would say that this was the most extreme emotional torture i've ever been through . Someone i love holding hands with soomeone i care. The girl of my dreams said it was just a joke that had been planned but for me i just see it as a disrespectful action taken by my brother to pissed me off . To see me in pain , to see me emotional , to see me cry .I cried as soon as i got home . Why in this world my feelings of love is seen as a joke ? cant they think that i am so serious about it . Whats wrong with people today. I know that i am not physically attractive but is it a sin for me to fall for an attractive girl. She has something that i dont have. She can flirt or attract anyone just by a smile . Something that i cant do . Something i am born with; ugliness . Maybe cause i see her as an angel . I had never touch her besides a finger poke to her side belly in foosball games whereby i want her to take a shot and play front. Who is wrong in this matter ? Is it my so called bro who didnt respect me in the situation ? is it her for responding to my brother's act or is it me for loving her ? can anybody tell me . please.
I am so heartbroken , i am so in pain ...
Here are the exacts words when i went to ask them for their current status ?
my bro : bro , i was just trying to piss you off . It was a joke la bro . nothing serious .
The gurl of my dreams : Dont cry . Was it that convincing?we were just playing around la .Its f_ _ _ _ and s _ _ _ _ _....
:::::: I am so jealous and so sad to realize the fact that i am so ugly to be loved or respected by the 2 most important people in my life...
FUCK MY LIFE
i brought the girl of my dream and a brother of mine to Chillis for dinner . Having the extra cash on that day had opened up my heart to spent it on the 2 most important people in my life.As we went there i was still in a very hyper happy mode. My brother ordered some meal with the workers pubic hair on it. God bless him. It was so funny whereby i laughed like crazy . There were 5 hairs his meal.As to some people imagining how the hairs can be in the food dish is sick but for me it was just funny. The girl of my dreams ordered some meal while i ordered montoray chicken ; the best dish in chillis.
My life begun to experienced fear when i saw them hugging . For them it may be some natural behaviour of close friendship but to me it was something else . The way they hugged was something beyond friendship.After that i saw them hold hands together . That was when my heart broke to pieces. I realize what love can leads me to ; suicide. I suffered from extreme pain due to the action of theirs of holding hands in front of me . I mean behind me , i seriously dont care but this traumatizing incident happened in front of me . Besides the brother asked me if i do feel jealous due to his action. I still put a smile on my face even though extreme sadness was hidden in my lonely heart.
In conclusion i would say that this was the most extreme emotional torture i've ever been through . Someone i love holding hands with soomeone i care. The girl of my dreams said it was just a joke that had been planned but for me i just see it as a disrespectful action taken by my brother to pissed me off . To see me in pain , to see me emotional , to see me cry .I cried as soon as i got home . Why in this world my feelings of love is seen as a joke ? cant they think that i am so serious about it . Whats wrong with people today. I know that i am not physically attractive but is it a sin for me to fall for an attractive girl. She has something that i dont have. She can flirt or attract anyone just by a smile . Something that i cant do . Something i am born with; ugliness . Maybe cause i see her as an angel . I had never touch her besides a finger poke to her side belly in foosball games whereby i want her to take a shot and play front. Who is wrong in this matter ? Is it my so called bro who didnt respect me in the situation ? is it her for responding to my brother's act or is it me for loving her ? can anybody tell me . please.
I am so heartbroken , i am so in pain ...
Here are the exacts words when i went to ask them for their current status ?
my bro : bro , i was just trying to piss you off . It was a joke la bro . nothing serious .
The gurl of my dreams : Dont cry . Was it that convincing?we were just playing around la .Its f_ _ _ _ and s _ _ _ _ _....
:::::: I am so jealous and so sad to realize the fact that i am so ugly to be loved or respected by the 2 most important people in my life...
FUCK MY LIFE
posted by zamir at 2:32 PM
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