The end of my life ....

I would like to share my experience in this blog . I would like to officially declare that i will never fall for love ever again . The experience i've been through for the past 2 years had made me suffer too much pain that leads me to the tought of committing suicide..All my life i only love one girl but i got heartbroken because of it. Its either i love her or no one else . Lets say my heart and true love cant win her heart . The best part is she ask me to go fuck off from her life , go study abroad and dont come back . That is so mean .

I am just too sad and depressed . I am sad because i believe that she is worth everything . She is worth the wait . I believe that love develops over time but i can say its total bullshit. I believe that no matter what happened to her in the future , i will still accept her the way she is ..Its true i'll still accept her but right now currently she is the one that cant accept me . Maybe because i treat her like a princess , maybe because i treat her too good . Its true what my friends tells me ' zamir if u want her just be who you are before . I seriously believe she deserves my true love but it looks like it doesnt lead me anywhere . She is the first girl i 've ever have the heart in wanting to be together with her.

She said yesterday that only miracle can make her fall for me . Am i that ugly ? please tell me ... right now i seriously think i do . I fell i've been used . I helped her with all her assignment and purposely dont want to beat her in the current exams . I want her to have the confidence in her college life ... Right now i think its total bullshit .. Is there such thing as miracle ? maybe maybe not .. I just feel i've been used ... All i need now is just physical pain that could divert my emotional pain to physical pain . Right now all i need is alcahol that could makes me high and have memory collapse and forget about her for a bit.. I also need and electro convulsive therapy ( electric shock therapy) that can make me forget her . I just wish i can see her like how my friends view her ; pornstar attraction .

I still love her , i still adore her . i dont know what else to do . Why must i suffer from pain momments 28 hours before i turn 22. Why does she wants to punish me like this . .. why why ?? i am going insane .. i am thinking of suicide .. i dont know what else to do .I seriously thought she was a genuwine friend to me .What type of friend who doesnt know how to repay bet ? what type of friend who loves to see another friend hurt ? I hope she will learn her lesson one day .. May god let miracles that i need to come true ...

Walk with me,
the path of life,
to explore every bend of the road
Enjoy with me the beauty of life,
along its wonderful way
Find comfort with me,
in each other's arms,when grief crosses our path
Find strength with me, in each other's strength,
when despair lies in waitLaugh with me, a single true laugh,
to enlighten another's distress
Cry with me, a single true tear,to understand true happiness
Cherish with me,
the wonders of life,
as they need to be preserved
Rejoice with me,
in the mysteries,of what is yet to be
Find peace with me,
in each other's souls,
when the world has gone insane
Find love with me,
in each other's hearts,
until this life has been fulfilled
And when the path comes to an end
I hope we can say from within
We've known the beauty of true love,
our love came from within

:::::::::::This poem was specially created for her ...

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::FUCK MY LIFE