The new me
Honestly i would say that today i am a new person . Its like me getting reborn into this world . I am quite confused with my life . The women i used to love ; how must i treat her . Like a bitch or like normal times. My anger towards her current boyfriend is beyond the limit. I am scared it might burst one day.
Because of me not getting to win her heart for the past 2 years i've been trying to impress her , now i feel like as tho i am a looser. She had took my pride and dignity away but its okay . Sooner or later i will get it back . When i think back on what she had done to me on my birthday ; that is so traumatizing. I had never experienced more pain then that all my life. I feel as tho i am a stupid person supporting her to achieve her goal when what she does is just having fun .
I use to pray for her success in education like a lot but today i dont see the point of it . She aint worth my prayers . I really hope the All Mighty will open her mind and make her a smarter person . Not educationally smart but street smart .
I dont care about my feelings for her anymore but its just sad to see someone i used to care and loved is changing from a home girl to a sarung party girl , from a person who hardly goes clubbing to a hardcore clubber , from someone who use to be home by 2 am at most and now she i dont know wether she goes home or not .What i know at the 5 am she can still be outside. Honestly this is the biggest pain .
I would like to end this short posting of mine just to remind myself of what i am currently seing or listening about her . I must remind myself that the person who i use to think is an angel is not that good after all . Last but not least i would like to remind myself not to fall inlove or have a crush on women anymore .Thats it . Its just not worth it .
Because of me not getting to win her heart for the past 2 years i've been trying to impress her , now i feel like as tho i am a looser. She had took my pride and dignity away but its okay . Sooner or later i will get it back . When i think back on what she had done to me on my birthday ; that is so traumatizing. I had never experienced more pain then that all my life. I feel as tho i am a stupid person supporting her to achieve her goal when what she does is just having fun .
I use to pray for her success in education like a lot but today i dont see the point of it . She aint worth my prayers . I really hope the All Mighty will open her mind and make her a smarter person . Not educationally smart but street smart .
I dont care about my feelings for her anymore but its just sad to see someone i used to care and loved is changing from a home girl to a sarung party girl , from a person who hardly goes clubbing to a hardcore clubber , from someone who use to be home by 2 am at most and now she i dont know wether she goes home or not .What i know at the 5 am she can still be outside. Honestly this is the biggest pain .
I would like to end this short posting of mine just to remind myself of what i am currently seing or listening about her . I must remind myself that the person who i use to think is an angel is not that good after all . Last but not least i would like to remind myself not to fall inlove or have a crush on women anymore .Thats it . Its just not worth it .
posted by zamir at 3:52 PM
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